Warriorscougars
by EvilKillerPrincess
Summary: sandstorm can tell the future? flashy eyed cows? cinderpelt loves firestar? starclan thinks theirs going to be an ice age? READ TO FIND OUT!
1. the begining stupidwhat else?

Warriors as cougars weird series except the cats I mean cougars aren't afraid of two-legs ...and ummm wel yea that pretty much it. The names are still like err made but uhh the clans are renamed. Yup. That's the story for ya. Oh 1 more thing the clans are being created! Err…yyyeeeaaaa…

"bluestar u mustn't roll around in that puddle your fur will be shabby." Lionheart meowed

"but the puddle is cool and splash-y" bluestar whined

"bluestar I'm your financial adviser maybe?" lionheart meowed while drinking her juicebox.

"listen lionheart we must find our territory before the other clans get it." Bluestar hissed.

"fine, breezeclan (windclan)! you get that territory!" lionheart meowed

"sure as long as we can have that little pond… and that little fish tank with the shark in it…" tallstar meowed happily feeding his new pet shark.

"alrighty then. Well waterclan (riverclan). That territory looks nice, a lake with an island." Bluestar meowed happily.

"ooolala looks good- and we get that magical bridge." The waterclan leader meowed.

"good. All that's left is mysticalclan (shadowclan). Take that land its dark and evil like." Lionheart meowed

"great its nice. I love this land and its squishy. Squishy land is the fun-est. well good bye we must all mark our territory. But bluestar where is your territory!" the dark cougar of mysticalclan meowed.

"we will take that plot of land it has puddles, a sandbox, and a little shack with a fridge it looks great, so leaders does this land suit you all?" bluestar meowed

"of course bluestar we appreciate the quick land making from you but now what?" tallstar and the rest of the leaders meowed.

"well we go to our territories and make our new land comfortable. At the mean time… lets go to our territories and make scent markers." Bluestar meowed.

"lets move."

The clans made their way to their new territory.

"f-in two-legs with their rubber bullets shooting our butts. Man that hurts…" rusty a cougar not yet worthy for a clan.

"hey you got the bullet again?" smudge meowed giving rusty a brownie.

"yes. Why do they shoot us?" rusty hissed

"well we are cougars we eat people." Smudge meowed calmly giving rusty a Tylenol.

"listen smudge its good being your friend but I think it is time for me to join a clan." Rusty meowed.

"you understand being part of a clan is hard work right? Plus two-legs are more mean because your more well….fierce maybe?" smudge meowed.

"yes smudge but I must. I must get my revenge." Rusty meowed.

"on the two-legs who shot you?" smudge meowed.

"you guessed right!" rusty meowed

"I'll miss you… rusty… and so will princess…" smudge meowed

"I'll miss you to…" rusty meowed looking at a map.

Rusty was off to find the clans hoping to join electricclan(thunderclan) meanwhile in electricclan…

"lionheart come quick!" bluestar hissed

"no must keep playing…" lionheart meowed addicted to some game called "runescape"

_(runescape is this game where you like have this account and train it to different levels and do quests and make houses and stuff…"_

"lionheart what is this game you speak of?" bluestar meowed looking at the odd game.

"its runescape! Stupid! This is "the massive online game" you so got to play I'm like level 88 already! And a member!" lionheart snapped.

"I should play then…" bluestar meowed making a account on runescape.

"I must go now lionheart, oh and watch graypaw he's been looking at something…" bluestar meowed.

"yes master…"

to be continued…


	2. the chapter afteer begining

"graypaw what are you looking at?" lionheart meowed curious.

"well first I saw this cougar he looked like a non clan but he didn't look like a rogue. And he had this tag on his ear. Probably something so two-legs can track him." Graypaw meowed.

"were is he?" lionheart meowed.

"behind you." Graypaw meowed proud of himself.

Lionheart stiffened up and called bluestar. "bluestar!"

"yes? Oh dear a cougar, and I'm guessing you want to be in this clan?" bluestar hissed

"well yes…here take my resume!" rusty meowed

bluestar grabbed his resume and ate it. "listen prove yourself worthy, prove to us you can fight here." Bluestar meowed.

"yea you stupid fur ball!" graypaw hissed.

Rusty was filled with anger and challenged graypaw to a duel. "you're going to get it!" rusty hissed leaping towards graypaw.

They both fought and fought and fought. Rusty cut graypaw's leg and graypaw ripped rusty's tag of.

"yippee! And ouch…" rusty meowed then hissed then purred for no reason.

"well you can join our clan blah blah blah your apprentice name will be firepaw blah blah blah tigerstar is your ummmmmm what do you call it…. Ummmm master!" bluestar pronounced.

"but we cant have a kitty-pet in out clan!" tigerstar hissed

"he's no kitty pet!" bluestar objected

"then why did he have a tag- ouch get the two-leg! He got rubber bullets!" tigerstar hissed

the cougars plunged towards the two-leg still getting pelted by rubber bullets. Firepaw whimpered in the corner with graypaw. Spottedleaf went to find the Tylenol in the cupboard. Soon the two-leg was defeated and made into fresh-kill.

"who wants the leg?" tigerstar meowed proudly.

"I've never eaten human…" firepaw meowed.

"then you share with graypaw." Tigerstar snapped.

"yum…." Firepaw meowed.

"mmmmrrrrraaawww!" lionheart hissed while a rubber bullet hit her head.

Spottedleaf ran into the scene dodging the bullets and giving a Tylenol to lionheart. On her way back she got hit. And died.

"NOOOOO SPOTTEDLEAF! I WUVED HER LIKE MY STUFFIE!" firepaw blurted out.

-cricket cricket-

"oh shyadup!" firepaw meowed saying good-bye to his beloved.

A thunder storm then accord and rain pelted firepaw's pelt.

The cats ran to their dens and hoped the rain would stop. Tigerstar however looked at firepaw with rage.

"firepaw! Is! The! EVIL! ONE!" tigerstar yowled!

Just then he got struck by lighting or thunder or wutever! i never knew which one was which……

Tigerstar then starred at firepaw. The war between them had just begun before firepaw's eyes.

To be continued again.

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hello. i just dropped by to say hello. please tell me how you think of the story. and please give me acouple names from book one because i forgot all of them sort of...hope u like this chapter. reveiw please and thank you.

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	3. the chapter after the after begining!

"listen tigerstar it wasn't me…" firepaw meowed

"alright kitty-pet I'll give you one more chance." Tigerstar hissed

"I am no kitty pet!" firepaw hissed "I just had a tag!"

"oh shush and lets start your training!" tigerstar hissed

"can't a start tomorrow, the ground is wet and slippery." Firepaw whined.

"hey you got tigerstar? Unlucky you, I even witnessed him kill that weird cat (forgot his name)" ravenpaw meowed.

"I thought-" firepaw meowed getting cut off by ravenpaw.

"you thought wrong buddy, you thought wrong."

"hey stupid fur ball, mouse-dunged kitty-pet!" sandpaw teased

"its pronounced TAGGED!" firepaw hissed.

"she's hot isn't she?" ravenpaw meowed

"your weird…" graypaw hissed backing off.

"what he said…" firepaw commented.

"why does every one do that?" ravenpaw meowed looking around him, everyone backed away from him.

"cool….." ravenpaw smiled.

"weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell lets get some fresh-kill!" graypaw meowed picking a nice fat fish.

"what is THAT?" firepaw meowed curiously.

"it's a trout, we find them in that lake!" graypaw meowed.

"pfff that's nothing I caught one that was 70 pounds!" sandpaw hissed

"so what?" ravenpaw meowed

"eeew ravenpaw you smell like two-leg food!" bluestar meowed

"I'm going to explore our territory." Firepaw meowed.

"who are you?" firepaw asked.

"my name is yellowfang, like my ugly teeth?" yellowfang meowed showing off her yellow fangs.

"no, you any good with medicine?" firepaw meowed

"duh moron, but I'm hungry fetch me a rabbit will ya?" yellowfang meowed.

"sure here.." firepaw meowed giving yellowfang a rabbit and feeding himself.

"who's this?" bluestar blurted out popping out of no where.

"I'm yellowfang I eat kits!" yellowfang hissed lying about the kits.

"okay come to out teritoy and we'll give you a med. Cat job! Yummy num num eh?" bluestar purred.

"but I eat kits?" yellowfang whined hoping she could have got away and kill a few two-legs and leaving them on a road.

"this is our new med. Cat okay?" bluestar meowed.

SOME TWO-LEG APEARS WITH A RUBBER BULLET GUN

"haha I can finally tell people I shot 50 cougars with rubber bullets." The two-leg shouted.

Two-leg gets eaten my lionheart.

"if your gonna shoot, shoot, don't talk!" lionheart meowed proudly

"wait lionheart wasn't that line from the good, the bad, and the ugly?" bluestar meowed.

"yea so?

"so, you cant use that line its some one else's."

"fine stupid piece of mouse dung!"

lionheart dies some how.

"oh my gawd! Oh my gawd! Oh my gawd! Oh my gawd!" bluestar meowed with shock.

"hear ye hear ye!" bluestar shouted. "new deputy will be tigerstar!" bluestar meowed.

"ummm anything else?" firepaw hinted.

"umm sure we gonna skip a few things so umm…. Ravenpaw is gone to the barn with barley. Sandpaw your now sandstorm, there's a cinderpelt who took over yellowfang because she died, graypaw is Graystripe, and firepaw is fireheart!"

time leaps forward.

"ooolala!" fireheart meowed.

"hey fireheart, nice name!" sandstorm teased.

"hey look pack, pack, kill, kill…." Fireheart meowed.

"ahhh doggies!" sandstorm meowed holding on to fireheart.

" bluestar noooooo!" fireheart meowed.

Bluestar dies from some tragic death and like falls in the like water.

"hey fireheart I got kits! I got kits!" Graystripe happily meowed. "where's my wife?"

"uhh remember she died giving birth!" tallstar meowed popping out of a tree.

"who was my wife?" Graystripe meowed confused

"ugh you are like lost silverstream!" tallstar hissed

"oh yea she was preeeeetty…..but- she's waterclan!" Graystripe hissed

"yup." Tallstar meowed with glee.

"nooooo! I'm a trader!" Graystripe hissed

"umm… yea, u should have figured that awhile ago!" tallstar hissed disappearing is demented mist that randomly appeared.

"waaa! Bluestar!" fireheart cried.

"lets go back to camp." Graystripe meowed solemnly

to be continued! Again after the again!


	4. after the after the after after begining

Fireheart, err I mean…umm…yea fireheart arrived at the all-clans-shall-discuss-long-and-boring-issues-they-have. (it was renamed by Nightclan a.k.a starclan)

"people welcome to A.C.S.D.L.A.B.I.T.H. this is now short for all clans shall discuss long and boring issues they have." Tallstar announced. "our clan has a really bad problem. We just found out that we are in the wrong area. It has come to my attention that this "territory" is from starlight! And we didn't even know it. What will we do?" tallstar meowed very dull.

"I say we wrap this problem up with cottage cheese!" fireheart announced, every one still staring like zombies or speaking quite dull.

"good idea. Good idea." Tallstar meowed.

"I'll announce" fireheart said

"sure thing buddy old pal!" Graystripe randomly said patting firehearts back clueless that everything needed to be dull.

"alright then bluestar died I have my nine lives but bluestar cut off the end because she thought she heard an ice cream truck, so just call me firestar okay? Or fire of the star. Or fireheart of the star or just fire.." firestar was cut off by the people

"we get it!" the cougars said forgetting of how dull they had to be.

"okay………nightstar?" firestar said randomly.

"HE IS THE CHOSEN ONE!" some two-leg cartoon like person said.

"oh my god! He's from pokemon!" sandstorm meowed thinking their relashionship would work out until…

"he tastes like chicken!" firestar meowed biting into the cartoon character's leg.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH why am I tasty? I'm bitter!" "ummm I like bitter stuff cuz then I can add more sugar!" firestar said shoving 1 cup of sugar down his mouth until his mouth was overloaded with sugar.

"marshmallow…." Firestar said eating once more.

"feast!" tallstar announced as the cats started eating the two-leg.

The two-leg was still alive yelling like there WAS a tomorrow. After they finished….

"oh my god! Half eaten-half zombie MR.POCKETS!" Sandstorm meowed frightened peering inside firestars purse.

"EVIL KILLER MR.POCKETS!" mr. Pockets screamed! And corrected…

"AAHHH CHOP HIS HEAD OFF FIRESTAR!" sandstorm meowed

"ohhh he's sooo romantic…." Cinderpelt said watching the fight between mr. pockets and firestar, chainsaw's, hammers, knifes, fire lots of things involved.

"I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO THE THEATER TO WATCH TEXAS CHAINSAW MASACAR!" Graystripe meowed grabbing a huge thing of popcorn.

"I see cows…" sandstorm moaned from inside the med. Cat's den.

"what do you mean?" cinderpelt asked

"cows! I see lots of cows! And two-legs eating the…COWS!" sandstorm moaned, she, got hit by a meteorite.

"what do you mean I see cows, I don't see any!" cinderpelt hissed

"IN MY HEAD I SEE COWS THEY ARE COMING I SAWS IT I SAWS IT AND NOW I SEES IT!" sandstorm said now sounding like a lunatic. "I saws it…and I sees it…"

"relax here take this.." cinderpelt meowed quickly, she wanted to watch her beloved firestar take down mr. pockets.

"ohhhh why does this love have to be forbidden…cinderpelt hissed, that when she tought of something EVIL and I mean evil in a weird way.

Cinderpelt rushed to the store getting a black necklace and black hair dye. I think you can guess what she is trying to be let me let you think….

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"cinderpelt did you just turn goth? Goth looks GOOD on you!" firestar said staring deeply, very deeply into cinderpelt's eyes. Then he got sleepy…very sleepy, then he randomly dumped a bucket on cinderpelt's newly black fur, and she looked like her normal self again.

"how IS tootsie hun?" sandstorm meowed leaping right infront of firestar.

"hun?" firestar meowed

"yes! Don't you remember mooey poo! All the fun times we had?"

To be continued again after the again!

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helloe their! errr ummm yea... cows? evil killer mr. pockets? (mr. pockets is a loooooooooooooong story). i hate spoons just to let you know so i might make fun of spoons. and if you dont like my chapters feel free to review and tell me, cuz - wutever.. yeeaaaa ummm yyyeeeeaaaaaa! IF YOU REALLY WANNA RANDOMLY FLAME ME REMEMBER I HAVE THE KEYBOARD NOT U! RETHINK BAD COMMENTS CUZ i really dont no... i'm going crazy right now cuz i woke up to early, i'm usually asleep until 2pm... YUCKY! i'm cranky i should get going... b-bye.. I SAID GOD BYE U PEICE OF- (people drag me away) AHHHH! REVIEW!

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	5. after after after after the after!

"Sandstorm? I don't get it, mooey poo?" firestar said very confused

"lets me put this straight I see cows! Every where! I see them! I see cows! Oh mooey poo! Help!" sandstorm meowed so frightened as she shoved firestar away and hugged the air.

"what the heck?" firestar said walking away.

"Graystripe sup. your deputy right?" firestar asked

"yup how may I help you?" Graystripe meowed

"yes could you help me take sandstorm to the med. Cat den? She thinks she see's cows in her head." Firestar meowed sharpening his super sharp claws.

"noooo!" sandstorm meowed running off into the deep wild.

"sandstorm!" firestar meowed running into the forest chasing after sandstorm

1 hour later cows with red flashy eyes came running after sandstorm and firestar.

"RUUUN! IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!" sandstorm shrieked running away from the cows with huge teeth.

"we can take on the cows we are cougars!" Graystripe hissed trying to take on the cow, it was to quick and bit Graystripe.

"you okay Graystripe?" firestar meowed helping Graystripe into the tree.

"yup I'm fine" Graystripe meowed making a cocoon.

"I'm gonna hibernate! C'ya in summer, or spring… what ever!" Graystripe said while firestar tried to unwrap Graystripe.

"there!" firestar meowed, Graystripe got unwrapped.

"I tolf you the cows were going to come!" sandstorm hissed to cinderpelt

"I'm sorry you just sounded insane when you said it jeeze.."

"okay then.. firestar come here!" sandstorm meowed

"yes what do you want?" firestar meowed

"MARRY ME YOUR CUTE!" sandstorm meowed

"eeeewwww" firestar meowed

"come on!" sandstorm meowed

"eeeeeeewwwwwww" firestar hissed

"please your cuter than Graystripe…" sandstorm commented.

"alrighty, but I ask you…will u marry me?" firestar asked.

"duh! Moron!" sandstorm meowed happily.

"ouch!" cinderpelt hissed, a whole army with two-legs with rubber bullets started shooting the cats.

"RUUN! Told you about the two-legs too! Sorta…" sandstorm shrieked.

To be continued again after…..what ever!


	6. flashy lights! no more afters!

The cougars ran around in circles dodging the cows, and two-legs.

"keep running!" firestar shrieked

"yes of course!" sandstorm meowed

soon the cows discovered the tso-legs ate them and started eating them instead of the cougars.

"neeeaaaattt" sandstorm meowed happily.

Soon cows with blue flashy glowing eyes came, then cows with yellow flashy glowing eyes came, then cows with all color flashing glowing eyes came.

"oooooooooo pretty lights." Firestar purred sitting closely to sandstorm.

"we need dairy products…." Graystripe randomly said when all the two-legs got eaten.

The cows then looked at the cougars angrily.

"AAAHHH RUUUNN!" Graystripe said while the cows started chasing the cougars.

"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE ALL OVER AGAIN!" sandstorm shrieked with fear.

"just keep swimming just keep swimming..." cloudtail meowed watching finding nemo in the background.

"cloudtail!" brightheart or wutever said motioning turn off the television, it looked but it looked like she meant "eat some cheese."

"umm..?" cloudtail meowed running sttiiilll…

"ravenpaw heeellp!" firestar yelled.

(ravenpaw randomly walks in the scene and runs with them)

"sorry I didn't bring any one!" ravenpaw meowed sadly

"go get some people! THESE COWS ARE CRAZY!" firestar hissed

"okay stupid…" ravenpaw walked away and saw the flashy hypnotizing eyes.

"MUST FEED COWS" ravenpaw purred

"no you must help clan!" firestar hissed

"oh yeeeaaa…riiiight I'll get to it." Ravenpaw meowed running to waterclan, then mysticalclan, then breezeclan which always smelled like febreeze.

"okay all weird what ever clan cats! Attack the cows!" ravenpaw hissed

"who put a zombie in charge?" tallstar hissed

"I'll be in charge muahahahaha….haha….haha." leopardstar meowed happily

"CHARGE!" leopardstar meowed, her voice boomed, a couple rocks fell…then she heard her echo.

"WICKED! AGAIN AGAIN!" tallstar purred jumping up and down like a kit.

"ECHO!" leopard meowed.

**Echo:**_echo echo echo echo…._

"COOOL!" tallstar meowed.

"alrighty then…yet again…CHARGE!" leopardstar meowed charging at the cows.

1 cow fell…then another…then another…LIKE DOMINO'S OKAY?

"yay!" firestar meowed standing over the cows.

"bye bye" all the other clan cats meowed walking away.

"lets all eat candy and like go crazy!" sandstorm suggested.

"okay sounds good!" princess randomly said and randomly jumping out from under the table which randomly appeared.

"IM GOT THE GOODS!" princess purred showing a huge bag of candy fit for 100,000,000 two-legs.

(some random anime comes on)

"oooo weird anime…turn the channel!" sandstorm meowed.

(princess changes the channel to bugs bunny)

"change it!"

(princess changes it again to the "tree house" channel)

"YAAAAY BLUES CLUES!" sandstorm shrieked while all the kits came sitting, their noses touching the t.v. screen.

To be continued (NO MORE AFTER THE AFTER…WUTEVER…)


	7. the chapter after flashy lights!

"sandstorm why are you watching blues clues?" firestar asked

"I LIKE HIM HE IS SOOOOO CUTE!" sandstorm meowed talking about the weird blue dog.

"sandstorm we are getting married in a day u cant think HE is cute!" firestar hissed

"take a break firestar I only started liking you since you were a "star" your leader! Isn't that suspicious?" sandstorm meowed

"nope…" firestar meowed walking into his den.

The next day firestar and sandstorm got married.

"we're married firestar now what?" sandstorm asked

"no clue!" firestar meowed.

"hey cinderpelt I have a reeeeeaaallllyyy bad running nose, could u help me?' firestar asked

"FINE! I'll help you!" cinderpelt mowed really grouchy as she took out some cough medicine.

"this is cough medicine cinderpelt its not for noses its for coughs." Firestar meowed

"fine I'll make a new medicine specially for you!" cinderpelt meowed freakishly

"whats up cinderpelt? You have been acting strange ever since me and sandstom got married…" firestar meowed concerned about cinderpelt.

"nothing is wrong…(sniff)" cinderpelt meowed almost in tears running into her tree house.

"umm I guess I may as well just like take the cough medicine." Firestar meowed taking the nasty discusting cough medicine.

"I hate spoons!" firestar hissed breaking the spoon into to pieces. Then he melted the spoon, then he decided to eat it.

"ALL SPOONS SHALL DIE!" firestar hissed, he reeeaaally hated spoons.

"hey firestar relax its just a spoon!" sandstorm meowed calmly.

"sandstorm you understand how I hate spoons so much, they are so, spoon-ey!" firestar hissed.

"okay have it your way firestar! But make sure you destroy only the spoons in this clan okay?" sandstorm meowed

"yes your majesty…." Firestar meowed sadly eating every single spoon in the clan.

"AHH! It's a ghost!" cloudtail screamed running around in circles as a dust ball followed him.

"firestar! I WANT JELLO SOUP!" sandstorm screamed.

"what? That would be soooo disgusting!" firestar hissed handing a random bowl of jell-O soup.

"YUM!" sandstorm purred eating her soup

"why is she like umm eating jell-O soup?" firestar meowed to cinderpelt

"BECAUSE SHE IS HAVING KITS STUPID!" cinderpelt screamed locking herself in her den crying like mad.

"whats up with her…" firestar meowed walking away and talking to one of the elders.

"I'm going to see a less freaky med. Cat…" firestar meowed walking into waterclan.

"YO SUP LEOPARDSTAR!" firestar meowed happily.

"what are YOU doing on OUR territory?" leopardstar hissed

"my med. Cat is freaking out so I would like to see yours okay?" firestar purred.

"fine with me, watch him weird cat from a different planet!" leopardstar meowed

"hi med. Cat why is my wife EATING JELL-O SOUP?" firestar meowed turning his head upside-down then back to normal.

"ummm she might be going crazy, she might have a taste for it, or she's having kits." The med. Cat replied.

"okay then bye." Firestar meowed

"I can't believe her she's waterclan, I'm going to check out breezeclan…" firestar purred skipping happily to breezeclan.

"hi tallstar, mind if I see your med. Cat mine is freaking out…" firestar meowed happily.

"okay be quick though my favorite show is on…" tallstar purred

"hi med. Cat why is my wife eating jell-O soup?" firestar asked

"waterclan and your med. Cat already told you…" the med.cat meowed looking into a weird glass ball.

"so they were telling the truth? Wow I never though that that was true! Thank you genie!" firestar purred

"NOOO!" the med. Cat hissed getting sucked inside a lamp.

"SHINY! What ever.." firestar meowed walking back to his clan and watching sandstorm play "go fish" with cloudtail.

"do you have….two threes?" sandstorm asked

"GO FISH!" cloudtail purred, he was winning the game.

TO BE CONTINUED!

**Sorry about this chapter, it sorta sucked, next 1 will be better!**


	8. after the after flashy lights

Cloudtail and sandstorm were still playing their intense game of "go fish" until sandstorm brought out a new deck and won.

"awwww I guess I owe you 2 mice, 1 fish, and 5 packages of marshmallows." Cloudtail meowed sadly.

"yup, here have a buck for your troubles!" Sandstorm purred.

"oh really thank you! Ummmmm…..best be off to get your prize c'ya" cloudtail purred skipping all the way to the store.

"hi sandstorm you beat cloudtail huh?" firestar purred

"yup I'm hungry fetch me a fake fur coat will ya?" sandstorm meowed.

"umm…? Okay?" firestar meowed very confused

firestar ran to a very weird tree and randomly pulled out a fake fur coat.

"there! Happy?" firestar meowed handing the coat.

"now I wont be cold…" sandstorm meowed curling up into a tiny little ball and set the coat an her.

"okaaaaaaaaaay then…." Firestar meowed walking to princess.

"yo sup firestar! Want some yarn?" princess meowed acting really strange.

"princess your not a gangster!" firestar purred rolling on the floor and playing with yarn.

"…oohhhh c'mon! its not every day I get to do this!" princess yelled running into the house."

"weird I'm gonna see Nightclan." Firestar meowed jumping into an elevator.

"hi bluestar why is ALL the cougars strange?" firestar hissed

"THE ICE AGE IS COMING! THE ICE AGE IS COMING!" bluestar meowed running around in circles.

"ummmmm don't you mean like winter?" firestar meowed confused.

"NO THE ICE AGE **IS** COMING!" bluestar screamed running into a bomb shelter.

"okay this proves something is wrong." Firestar meowed to himself watching all the cougars in Nightclan light themselves on fire screaming "the ice age is coming"

"okay down I goooooo" firestar meowed jumping into the elevator once again as it dropped down really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fast.

DING! Firestar got down

Firestar grabbed a microphone and shouted "we gotta have a A.C.S.D.L.A.B.I.T.H!"

"Okay you guys we have a problem Nightclan says there is going the be an ice age." Firestar hissed

"yea they mean in waterclan." Leopardstar hissed

"three of our warriors have turned into an ice cube!" leopardstar hissed

"admissions to see them is only 5 dollars!" leopardstar purred holding up tickets and grabbing the clans money so the cats could see the ice cube cougars.

"that's settled." Firestar meowed happily. Walking back to his clan.

"firestar can you get cloudtail here I want MARSHMALLOWS!" sandstorm whined

"cloudtail give sandstorm her prize she's going crazy!" firestar hissed

"okay here sandstorm!" cloudtail purred.

"thanks I really did need these…" sandstorm meowed shoving marshmallows into the mice then the mice into the fish then the fish into her mouth.

"ewww sandstorm! Disgusting!" firestar hissed watching sandstorm eat the stuffed "thing" she had made.

"CINDERPELT!" firestar screamed

"yea?" cinderpelt meowed still focused on making running nose medicine.

"hows the medicine coming along?" firestar purred

"GOOD! Just go away and it'll be better!" cinderpelt hissed

"cranky.." firestar mumbled.

The next day cinderpelt finished the medicine.

"I got a runny nose can I have some of dat stuff you made?" firestar meowed

"sure here! It should taste like lemons…" cinderpelt meowed

"then why does it taste angry then sad then happy?" firestar asked

"cuz you like FISH!" cinderpelt hissed

"okay freaky…" firestar meowed walking up to sandstorm.

"hi sandstorm you okay there?" firestar meowed curling up beside sandstorm.

"I see…ICE! I seee lots of ICE…" sandstorm meowed twitching like crazy.

"we got to help you out with that twitch" firestar meowed dragging sandstorm to the med. Cat den.

"she sees ice, and she need her twitch fixed." Firestar meowed setting sandstorm on a huge pile of hay.

"okay then bye, bye now." Cinderpelt meowed

"what?" firestar meowed

"SHOO!" cinderpelt hissed pushing firestar away.

TO BE CONTINUED! DUN! DUN! DUN!

* * *

HI! I will update for sure 1 time a week, and around 12am-3pm, alright? goody... sneak peak preveiw maybe...i donno...

**_Will sandstorm get murdered by cinderpelt? Will sandstorm murder cinderpelt? will no cat get murdered? Will firestar find out about cinderpelt's love with him? When sandstorm has kits will they be obsessed with snoopy? _**


	9. after the after after flashylights

"sandstorm your soo lucky to have firestar…so I MUST KILL YOU!" cinderpelt screamed.

"AHHH I must kill you for trying to kill me!" sandstorm hissed.

So cinderpelt murdered sandstorm, and sandstorm murdered cinderpelt.

"what the heck?" cinderpelt and sandstorm meowed at the same time.

"I guess we where given 9 lives for no reason…" sandstorm purred.

"yea, guess so, don't tell any one about this!" cinderpelt meowed

"tell anyone about what?" firestar purred walking into the med. Cat den

"nothing…" cinderpelt and sandstorm meowed hiding their knifes behind their backs. Or tails… or what ever one is best for the moment.

"so, errrrrrr sandstorm want to have a kit kat bar?" firestar meowed offering a HUGE kit kat bar to sandstorm.

"no thanks, I'm already fat…" sandstorm meowed looking at her stomach.

"but your having a kit, its normal…" firestar meowed

"I'M HAVING KITS! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" sandstorm hissed, I swear the whole forest could hear her.

"I thought you would know…" cinderpelt and firestar meowed very confused

"what ever! I'M HAVING KITS! FINALLY!" sandstorm purred running outside around all the clans.

"wow…" firestar meowed.

Cinderpelt curled up beside firestar.

"oh my god! Cinderpelt!" firestar hissed pulling far away from cinderpelt.

"what?" cinderpelt hissed "do I smell bad?"

"no! you just like… curled up beside me! Tis' freaky!" firestar meowed taking a wet wipe and wiping his paws.

"oh c'mon you know you can resist this!" cinderpelt hissed

"I have a wife stupid! And I'm about to have kits!" firestar meowed walking up to Graystripe..

(faint "eeeewww's" came from the distance)

"hey sandstorm how's it going?" firestar meowed the next day.

"good, but my blanket isn't warm enough." Sandstorm meowed

"well come here theres a secret place I sleep in, come this way." Firestar purred showing a small little shack, no two-leg scent.

"cool! Bunk beds!" Sandstorm purred trying to jump up on the top bunk.

Sandstorm fell trying.

"ooooooooouuuuuuucccccchhhhhhhh!" sandstorm hissed in pain.

"I'll set up some stairs for ya…" firestar meowed shoving sandstorm on the bottom bunk and made some stairs.

"thanks…now can you give me some cinnamon toast crunch, the taste you can see!" sandstorm meowed happily.

"don't you want fish or ANY good food?" firestar meowed

"sure I'll have whiska's temptations, whiska's hard cat food, whiska's moist food, whiska's moist food in a bag, and whiska's…………that's it…." Sandstorm meowed happily waiting for firestar to get her cat chow.

"there ya go, now I have to do "leader" duties." Firestar purred walking to his office.

"hey firestar! We have a lot to do, I have to gte this fax machine working and the computer needs to be reset, I did most of the fixing though." Graystripe purred

"sure I'll do the rest." Firestar meowed

2 seconds later.

"I'm done, now what?" firestar purred.

"well I told mysticalclan I would phone them again…so why don't you phone em?"

"sure thing…!" firestar meowed

(firestar puts in the numbers)

"555-555-555-555-555-555-555-555-555." Firestar meowed happily waiting for a reply.

"hey! Blackstar I will NOT give you my wife!" firestar hissed

…

"yes you can come over for a sleep over! No! wait! No sleep over! I'll see you at the A.C.S.D.L.A.B.I.T.H." firestar hissed hanging up the phone with out saying good bye.

"Graystripe I gotta use da phone I gotta phone sandy." Firestar purred

"sure thing here!" Graystripe meowed handing a pink and fluffy phone to firestar.

"hi sandstorm! Are you OK?" firestar meowed

"mmhmm… go on… uh huuh.. be right there." Firestar meowed hanging up the phone.

"Graystripe gotta go, sandy is having he kits now." Firestar meowed running to the med. Cat den

"ooo they so pretty!" sandstorm purred

"can I name them?" firestar purred

"SURE!" sandstorm meowed

"I'll call that 1… (points at a dark ginger she-cat with green eyes) squirrelkit!" firestar squealed like a kit.

"I'll name this one (points at the small, dark brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes) leafkit! Cuz she's brown…" sandstorm purred hugging her kits.

1 week later.

"mommy we watch snnnooopppyy!" sandstorms kits meowed running in front of the television with their snoopy dolls, snoopy pillows, and snoopy blankets.

TO BE CONTINUED!

_**Will leafkit refuse to eat her green peas? Will squirrelkit refuse to eat her broccoli? Will FIRESTAR refuse to eat HIS food! **_


	10. night instead o' star!

"ummmmm leafkit, and squirrelkit, come here, I got you your snoopy necklace…." Sandstorm purred holding up a two-leg snoopy necklace.

"just wait mom! They're showing snoopy on the t.v. now!" the kits purred staring at the t.v.

"sandstorm…" firestar meowed

"yea…" sandstorm purred watching her kits.

"I think you should get them to stop watching snoopy." Firestar meowed very concerned.

"don't worry they're just going through a phase." Sandstorm meowed watching snoopy as well.

"okay then sandstorm but they can't be Warriors until they give up snoopy!" firestar hissed

"hey firestar, wouldn't you say its better than barney?" sandstorm meowed.

"well uuuhhh I guess so…" firestar meowed walking away.

"mommy who voices snoopy?" leafkit asked.

"well, no one, snoopy doesn't talk!" sandstorm meowed tucking her kits in bed.

"yes I know that but WHO voices him?" squirrelpaw asked.

"lets just say…snoopy voices himself." Sandstorm meowed happily.

"can we be warriors NOOOOW?" squirrelkit hissed

"okay okay I'll convince firestar" sandstorm meowed

"firestar! Make our kits warriors!" sandstorm meowed

"sure… Leafkit! Squirrelkit!" firestar purred.

(leafkit and squirrelkit walk in with a snoopy purse, a snoopy necklace, a snoopy bracelet, and a snoopy key chain that was put on their tails.)

"yes daddy?" leafkit purred

"cougars of electricclan!" firestar purred.

"I now pronounce squirrelkit is now squirrelpaw!" firestar purred.

"leafkit you are leafpaw!" firestar purred, meowed, then jumped up and down.

"umm… leafpaw! umm… squirrelpaw!" the cougars shouted clueless.

"bye bye peeps I go to A.C.S.D.L.A.B.I.T.H." firestar purred.

"can we come?" the whole clan purred.

"sure every one come! My new invention shall watch the clan." Firestar purred while everyone followed him to the meeting.

"hi every one I have a BIIIG problem" tallstar hissed

"riverclan took my stuffy!" tallstar hissed pointing at leopardstar who was indeed, holding tallstar's stuffed toy

"I shall call it fuzzy, and it shall be my fuzzy!" leopardstar purred.

"c'mon give the stuffy back leopardstar…" firestar hissed.

"no! not fuzzy!" leopardstar hissed

"pass to me I wont give it to tallstar!" Blackstar purred evil-ish.

"okay!" leopardstar purred throwing the stuffed toy to Blackstar.

"here tally" Blackstar purred handing "fuzzy" to tallstar.

"thank you, you may go next mysticalclan" tallstar purred

"oh yea TONY THE TIGER TOOK ALL OUR FROSTED FLAKES FROM THE NURSERY!" Blackstar hissed

"AND THE KOOL-AIDE GUY TOOK ALL OUR KOOL-AIDE!" Blackstar hissed

"oohhh yeeeaaa!" the kool-aide guy shrieked.

"they're grrrrrrreat!" tony the tiger shrieked with joy.

"get them!" the clans hissed taking down the advertise people.

"okay next up…. Electricclan!" tallstar purred

"yessss, Blackstar has phoned me!" firestar hissed

"did not!"

"did to!"

"did not!"

"well Blackstar phoned cuz he wanted my wife, then he asked for a sleepover." Firestar purred.

"did noooot!"

"DID TOOOOOOOOOO!" firestar screamed.

"fine maybe I did…" Blackstar hissed.

"okay also I think since cougar heaven is "nightclan" I think that instead of using the terms example… "firestar" we should use "firenight" agreed?" firestar purred

"I donno.." tallstar purred.

"TO MOTHER MOUTH!" leopardstar meowed as the clans ran to mother mouth.

"okay its fine with nightclan, but they talk about "cats" and thunderclan, riverclan, windclan, and shadowclan! And this "starclan" they say that we SHOULD change leaders to night at the end.

(one minute later)

"ahhh! Cougars!" a cat screamed.

"oh my god! Nightclan was right!" firenight screamed like a girl.

"oh my god starclan was right!" firestar screamed

"you must be firestar!" "you must be firenight!" firestar, and firenight screamed.

(all other cougars and cats are confused)

"so what brings you here?" firenight meowed

"weeell two-legs took our forest, can we live here?" firestar purred.

"sure…"firenight meowed happily

"oh my god! My cat-self is dying! Save Him!" tallnight screamed.

"cinderpelt help him!" firenight and firestar meowed.

"back off us cougars have better medicine than you cats, tis better." Cinderpelt meowed

"but I'm a cat, and tallstar's a cat, it works out better, yet I brought no supplies" cinderpelt meowed.

"there feelin betta tallstar?" cinderpelt (cougar) meowed happily

"yup what IS that yummy stuff?" tallstar meowed

"we fetched it from a two-legs vet area, yea, we rob two-legs, while you guys run" cinderpelt meowed

"I see myself! I look pretty big…" tallstar purred

"hi I'm tallnight! I'm a cougar!" tallnight meowed happily.

"go back to your clan with this, it'll shut the two-legs up." Firenight meowed happily handing firestar a hand grenade.

"thanks, best be off!" firestar purred running back over the mountain, into a forest BOOM, then lived happily.

"okay there we go." Tallnight meowed

"no more confusion!" leopardnight purred happily.

TO BE CONTINUED

**_Hi! Like the new namez? Tallnight, firenight, blacknight, and leopardnight IS catchy wouldn't you say?_** **_Next chapter coming right up! Maybe today, maybe tomorrow maybe never!_**


	11. shiny things like dies before telling

_Hi! I would like to say thanks to palmwind, the idea of jewelry! Really shiny jewelry!_

Sandstorm was looking deeply at her finger.

"wutcha got their sandstorm?" firenight purred

"a-a-a ring…. Tis shiny…" sandstorm purred looking at her shiny ring with a big sparkly diamond.

"mommy, I don't know my career!" leafpaw meowed.

"shiiny…" sandstorm purred looking deeply into her ring.

"hey mom were do you get those?" leafpaw purred

"SHIIINNNYYY! GO AWAY! Oh yea that store over there!" sandstorm purred

"puuurr" squirrelpaw purred, wearing a big shiny silver necklace with a nice big shiny pendant.

Soon leafpaw came in with a charm bracelet, but she couldn't help but bat at the little charms dangling from the bracelet.

"Graystripe something is up with the girls, they all got extremely shiny things on there fingers, or ankles or wrists or even their necks!" firenight meowed

"it's the new cougars style buddy, keep in touch!" Graystripe meowed throwing a big gold chain to firenight.

"oh my god it's gotten you too!" firenight hissed running to his secret den.

Soon silverstream came back from the dead wearing the most beautiful jewelry ever.

"ALL HAIL SILVERSTREAM!" the she-cougars meowed

soon silverstream decided to wear a shiny little tiara. "I'm ruler of the forest!" silverstream purred walking around in circles until every one got blinded by her extremely shiny jewelry and t dizzy.

Soon silverstream grew reeeally long eyelash's and ended up as prettiest she-cougar ever.

"hmm, hey firenight come here!" silverstream purred

"no thanks I'm busy." Firenight meowed working outside eating a apple.

"I mean it come here NOW!" silverstream hissed.

"who put you in charge? Mrs. Pickle!" firenight hissed.

"but I'm wearing shiny jewelry!" silverstream whined.

"well it is shiny…" firenight meowed walking up to silverstream.

(whap!)

"bad kitty! No! no seducing me!" firenight hissed hitting silverstream hard with one of those noisy air filled hammers that squeak a lot.

"fine, I hate you!" silverstream cried running back to her muddy grave.

Soon all the cats looked at their own shiny jewelry, but firenight wanted attention.

Firenight whined all night.

"hey firenight…" sandstorm meowed curling up beside firenight. "your silver!"

"whaaaat?" firenight meowed very confused.

"your pelt, it's silver!" sandstorm meowed.

"it is? Cool!" firenight purred.

"ooooo its black now…" sandstorm meowed.

"firenight is a odd mood cougar like those mood rings…" leafpaw purred.

This wasn't that funny but part 2 hopefully will be, depends how much sugar I have. Review!


	12. darn those pixies!

"darn those pixies! Turned me into a mood ring!" Firenight hissed.

"what do you mean?" Sandstorm meowed.

"well it started when I ate a pixie. The end" Firenight meowed.

Cinderpelt walks into the room with a new cell phone.

"yo sup g dawg yellowfang yo hows da starclan and that big blue blue bluestar?" Cinderpelt meowed talking to yellow fange

Yellowfang: yo bluey blue bluestar is fie, but starclan is getting destroyed by da big blue cheese whiz can known as bearbert bear Einstein!

Cinderpelt: yo dude that's coo

Yellowfang: oh gotta go bluey need crest whitening strips call me

Cinderpelt hangs up phone. All the cats stare at her.

"what? Oh firestar why'd you eat the pixie! You need a cookie to cure that!" Cinderpelt meowed giving firenight a cookie.

"yum, tea any one?" firestar meowed holding up a pixie.

"darn you Firenight I'm not tea!" pixie the pixie screamed.

The end for now.

Sorry- it's short but that's what I could only write, please give ideas cuz I'm running out for this story!


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